Writing a great social media bio is an art form. Paring it with a photo that stops social traffic and pulls people in wanting more, takes creativity, focus and definitely lots of crafting. On Twitter you have 160 characters to reach out and grab someone’s attention. Other social sites give you a few more, but the task is no easier. How do you tell people what you do, why you are hanging your social shingle out to welcome people in, and make it all sound interesting? How do you put your best FACE forward to let people know that you are worth connecting with? I am always on the hunt for fabulously crafted bios and even have a Twitter list of GREAT BIOS, but sadly there is no shortage of scary bios that are poorly written or contain a photo that sends us screaming like a teenager in a bad horror movie being chased by a guy in a hockey mask wielding a BlendTec blender, yelling “WILL IT BLEND?” (Perhaps I shouldn’t share all of my nightmares here.).
Here are Five Scary Characters You Don’t Want to Connect with in Twitter Town, or Anywhere Else:
The Imaginary Friend.
This is the profile that must be run by an imaginary friend because they talk about the person in the photo as if they are not there. “Kelly has written several books on the paranormal and enjoys long walks with herself.” Quit writing in third person. It’s just weird. If you have someone else managing your Twitter profile and it is not set up under a company name, you might want to consider changing it. Call it Kelly’s Paranormal Solutions, or Kelly and Company, that way the person tweeting can be honest and say “We have several books and we love going on long walks.” And if it is truly just your personal profile and you are having someone else send tweets about your work or thoughts from your book, write your bio in first person and then your marketing assistant can still post your content. I would suggest signing tweets with initials of the person sending them, like the old business letters.
This is the profile that is packed with hashtags instead of real copy that tells a little about the person. It is ridiculously scary when a bio reads: #Leadership #CustomerService #CommunicaitonSkills #Plumbing #Baker #AutoRepair. Why not write a bio for humans, that actually captivates like, “I am a true Jane of all trades. From leadership, customer service and communication skills to baking the best cupcakes! I can even throw in the kitchen sink repair as I rotate your tires.” I’m sure someone told those hashtaggers that packing your bio will help people find you, which might be true, but when they do, that bio will send them away screaming.
The Zombie Prisoner.
You know that profile. The one of the person with the photo that resembles a mug shot more than a head shot. If your photo gives people the creeps before they even connect with you, you will be tweeting alone. Make sure your photo lets people know you have a personality and are alive. If all you have is selfies that make you look dead, have a friend, or stranger on the street make you say CHEESE and snap a more friendly representation of you. People on Twitter want to connect with a real person. A live person. A person that is interesting or fun to hang around. Be sure your photo shows a side of you that someone might want to get to know.
This is the profile of the person who is trying to look seductive or somehow sexy in a social media profile, but they just come across creepy. They have usually taken a selfie with a strange pout face (the photos people take of themselves while holding their phone up, usually while standing in front of a bathroom mirror for some reason)and then if the fish pout look wasn’t enough, the guys take off their shirt or unbutton way too many buttons trying to impress someone with their ability to grow chest hair and muscle fiber. The women are usually the ones who are trying to recreate a racy magazine spread as they pose seductively twisting their body and looking over one shoulder. Unless you are taking a photo for E-Creepers dating website, you are just creeping people out on Twitter. Get dressed and take a nice photo.
The scariest of all, is the dreaded default Twitter egg. This sends chills down the spine of most people in Twitter Town, since it usually means the account is a spam account. There is no excuse today for leaving your egg mask on. If you don’t know how to load a photo from your computer or your phone into that profile picture area, pay a teenager in your neighborhood $10 to do it for you. For five dollars you can probably find someone on Fivrr.com to do it as well as customize a background for your entire profile. So many people hate seeing themselves in photos and leave the egg to hide behind. If you get that same teen to take your photo they can make you look fabulous with Instagram filters (everyone looks more glamorous in black and white) and use that for your photo.
These are our top five SCARY SOCIAL MEDIA PROFILES, but we want to hear from you. What have you seen that scares the living tweets out of you?
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